Can you speak up? I can't hear you over the carrot crunch.

Long time no blog.  Sorry friends, it's a busy life working full-time, working towards a bachelors full-time, being a mom, a friend, a roommate, and a (insert various hat here).

Last time I blogged I was in the middle of giving up sugar for Lent.  Which I did and was successful with.  But to answer the many who have asked in recent weeks, no, I have not continued with that same success since.  However, I am ready to make more permanent changes.  So, starting this past Monday - no sugar. 

Zero. Zilch. Zip.

Sugar = Nada.

And truthfully, I don't miss it.  I feel like crap when I am full of sugar. Like CRAP.  No more! 

Additionally, starting TODAY, I am meat free.  Absolutely no meat.  Yes, that's right - this raised in Texas, Winn Dixie "We're the Beef People" type, Angus-loving woman, is now eating no meat.  The way my urologist puts it "if it walks, flies or swims - don't eat it."  Over the next couple of months my goal is to also be off of eggs and dairy products.  No wories - I can get protein and calcium in abundance from other plant-based sources and I definitely plan too. If you want to get down to it, absolutely zero animal protein is the goal.

Everyone's first question when they hear my goal is "How are you going to do that?"  Step by step I suppose.  I've done tons of online research.  I've prayed about it - a lot.  I've consulted my doctor - to make sure that he (and the three others who have also said "no animal protein") meant vegan when he said "vegan" (he did).  And I'm beginning to stock up on obscure food items like: carrots, peppers, celery, bananas, watermelon, raspberry,  sweet potatos, broccoli, brussel sprouts, snap peas, hummus, quinoa (ok - I'll give you that one - it really is new to me - but I have tried it and it was great in the recipe my friend Becky made).  I've been a lifelong fan of beans - so no hesitant winces there.  I'll be visiting Arden Gardens Saturday in Little Five to stock up on fresh pressed, unpasturized fruit and vegetable juices for the week.  And I'll be avoiding restaurants, fast food and any meat still in my freezer like the plague!

Am I eating all organic?  Um...

H. E. Double-hockeysticks NO!  Have you seen the prices on organic produce?  It's highway robbery!  It ought to be outlawed I tell you!  What I am doing is being choosy about my produce. I will buy from local growers, who sell their bounty at reasonable prices, as often as I can.  I will also purchase some items organic - as they can be chemical/pesticide filled - for example: apples.  The rest I will grab at my local Kroger.

Ok, I'm going vegan.  So.  So what?  Why blog about it? 

Because "putting it out there" helps me stick to my committments.  I am then accountable not only to myself but to any of you who read it and expect me to do what I say I will do. (Accountability is important people! Do yourself a favor and get some - and DON'T get resentful when you're held too it - that just means you have people in your life who love you enough to want to see you grow. - A special thanks is in order to my friend Sydney who has sent gentle emails about my sugar problem. While I have tried to ignore that I wasn't being true to what I desire for myself, her sweet texts and emails were great reminders and part of what helped me re-find my determination to improve my health). 

I am also blogging about it to keep a record of successes (and failures - even though I'm hoping there won't be many/any.) so that I can look back and be encouraged!  I hope blogging about it will cause you to want to cheer me on from wherever you are sitting while reading about my journey to all vegan eating.  I need the moral support!  Any of you who know me, know this will be a drastic change to how I have eaten in the past - even when I've eaten "healthy" for a period of time.  Seriously, your prayers and encouragement would mean the world to me.

Look forward to posts that talk about how good hot grilled veggies were for dinner - thanks to Sarah who is the grill-master of Doraville!  Stay tuned y'all!

Crunch!!!

Sacrificing My Sweet Idol

“Ahhh Sugar, da-da-dada-da-daa, awwww Honey, honey….” 

Hi. My name is Melissa and I am addicted to Sugar.  Sugar is an addictive substance and I have a serious and problematic relationship with it.  I can’t resist it. I crave it all the time. I think about it at the rate some suggest men think about sex – about every 20 seconds. 

I’m not kidding. 

Sugar is my idol.

Definition of the term “idol”: an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed. 

Noah Webster’s 1928 Dictionary defines it this way, “An idol is any thing which usurps the place of God in the hearts of his rational creatures.”

Sugar is my idol and I know it is because I put my love of sugar and all things made thereof:

·         before my health (I have allowed it to make me fat and “pre” diabetic),

·         before my desire to set a good example for my daughter (she sees me choose cookies/cake/etc. before real food…regularly),

·        before using my limited income wisely (as I near the end of my grocery budget I’ll cancel healthy food items off of my list and purchase sweets instead).

·         And yes, I put it before God.  That might sound odd to some people, but remember – I think about it almost all of the time.  I don’t think about God every 20 seconds.  (Now before you or I bash me too hard over this one, I DO think about God and probably more than your average church attending person – I am working towards a theology degree, so there’s that.)

Today I read an article online that discussed how some scientists want sugar regulated the same way alcohol and cigarettes are regulated.  Part of me instantly harrumphs and says “Ridiculous!”  But another part of me, the part that is in a sick love/hate/needful relationship with sugar – the part of me that is beyond exhausted from the guilt of having a show-down between me and a brownie and having the brownie win… Every. Single. Time. – that part of me kind of wishes sugar consumption could somehow be regulated. http://tinyurl.com/82ca7en

But even if it could be, I’m a legal adult in America. I’d still be able to buy all the sugar I want.  Ultimately, if I want to kick this habit and overcome the stronghold it has on my life I’m going to have to learn to say NO... to myself.  And this is where I’ve gotten myself in trouble because I try to rationalize it.  I tell myself things like:

“I gave up cigarettes” (7 years ago this March)

“I give up shopping for new things for me so my child can have new things.”

“I do without fun activities and outings so that I can provide a few for my daughter.”

“It’s just this once, tomorrow no more!”

Basically, I tell myself whatever I need to tell myself so I can justify continued sugar abuse.  The things I’ve given up or done without in life do not earn me the privilege of super slow death by sugar indulgence.

Clearly, my own strength is lacking and my ability to tell myself “No” is non-existent.  I need to lay my ‘self’ down, and give the craving to God. People have even lovingly suggested this in the past.  Why haven’t I yet?  Two reasons.  1) I honestly just haven’t really wanted too – I have loved my addiction.  2) I’m afraid I’ll give it to Him and He won’t fix it.  In short – I don’t trust God enough to handle this for me.  And that lack of trust, that’s where the real sin enters in.

So, in an effort to rid myself of this addiction, I am preparing my mind for Lent – during which I will give up sweets - so that through the Lenten practice of sacrificing some portion of my ‘self’ I can prepare my heart for more of Him.  I’ve realized that I can’t quit this by myself.  I desperately need God’s help or I will fail quite miserably.  But I’m going to do it – I’m absolutely going to give up sweets for Lent!

This is no small thing.  I was raised Catholic, but left the Catholic Church years ago and am now simply a “Christian”.  I have lots of fun cracking-wise about my experiences growing up Catholic, and the idea of giving things up for Lent has not been spared.  It has been well over a decade since I attempted to sacrifice anything for God during Lent.

However, last year during the Lenten season, I was given pause and reminded through the actions of my pastor just what Lent is and the significant role it can play in our spiritual growth. (And isn’t that just exactly what a pastor is should do – not tell you what to do, but he himself did it – leading by example. Color me thankful.)  Last year my pastor participated in the practice of Lenten sacrifice for the first time in his life.  And he blogged about it.  http://tinyurl.com/73aodyz

Among other things, he wrote this that was meaningful to me:

“I am discovering that Lent is an intentional time to engage in self-examination, repentance and to posture ourselves in such a way to remind ourselves how desperately we need God. It is part of the rhythm of the church year which tells God’s story of redemption.” ~ Bryan Marvel

So I’m getting intentional about my self-examination with regard to my sugar addiction, I’m repenting of it (simply changing my mind – no more guilt or shame – just changing my mind about sugar), and through giving up sugar through Lent posturing myself to realize just how much I need God in order to beat this thing!

Are you giving something up for Lent this year?  If so what and why?

Me, God and My Job

“Faith refers to loving God with all that we have and all that we are, our hearts, souls, minds and strength.  Faith means fidelity, loyalty to the God who loves us, who rescued us.  All that we do, in word and deed, must be done in the name of the Lord Jesus.” ~Jack Wisdom (pretty cool last name, huh?)

In thinking on this phrase, I have realized that not everything I do at work is done as an act of faith.  In fact, I think of much of my work as a penance. 

As a single mom, there are countless ways I have willingly died to self - and each of those little deaths have brought me untold blessings in the form of joy, deepened understanding, greater capacity to love - give - receive, and taught me what it is to be truly thankful for a God in control of everything. 

Why then has this been so hard for me at work?  I think in large part it is because I do feel called to something entirely different than what I’m doing now.  My work does not equal my calling and my workplace is a pretty negative and dark environment.  So at work I have allowed the negativity to blind me to my overriding call as a Christian - to die to self in order that my life might glorify God. I think this is probably true of many believers who work in a secular environment.

In loving God with all that I have, I have neglected to love him with my job - a job I have told Him I’m thankful for (after all, it does pay the bills) because when I landed this job five years ago I definitely considered it one of God’s many successful rescues in my life.  But in regards to current thankfulness for my job, I talk to God out of both sides of my mouth - from one I profess gratitude, from the other I beg Him for a speedy deliverance from what I now consider my own personal hell on earth. 

What is my job really though?  A place where I can daily use my God-given strengths to minister in such a way that my efforts might restore and redeem brokenness in my workplace and greatly glorify our God.  My prayer: Show me the way Lord!